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Artist: CHAOS DESTROY
Title: Lightning Strikes Twice
Format: LP
Label: Olde English Spelling Bee
Country: USA
Price: $16.00
"Taking cues from the wordless death-grind proto-metal of the first Obituary lp: C>D- somehow takes the fear-soaked brain of that tiny dude from the o.g. THE FLY: two micro-seconds before he gets his web-trapped body eaten by the world most gruesome spider EVER: and power-channel it thru the MOST horribly unmusical-rotten guitar speaker cones since the creation of “music.” Speaking of music: inside this LP there is none: is not just mere dribbling NOISE: its like a one dimensional terra-plane of cultural war of warbly Anime-frightmares clashing in a baby-dumping dumpster in a Baltimore/DC area alleyway during a WRETCHED static storm while the co-criminal on watch nods off on the job whilst Ipodin The Swankys. On a Tuesday morning. In the Spring. Ive seen pictures of this band: but someone pulled a horrid prank and replaced the bullet-belts and street punx ice grills with shorts, muffin tops and smiles. Huh? Confusion Chaos is the fighting spirit: The Lp begins with some semblance of structure and riffs but like a magician armed with 10,000,000 daisy-chained death metal pedals instead of card tricks: the cunning seems to come on too quick to warrant a double-featured extended stay, unless the members want to “Fuck More.” - Imagine if the Happy Flowers WERE Horribly Charred Infants and Anuss and instead of LSD as the catalyst it was Grande Lattes mixed with the magic dust from the excess plastic off of big money Flexi-Discs and the sweat from the brow of all night nuclear sex addicts. I gotta hand it to the second full length from this amp scorched mild-mannered crew: it at least doesnt come with a tan file folder containing sharpie pictures of cookies and flowers. Not too many lp in the tomb that include that.... I remember reading an interview with Lotus Dan saying how “he could write a dissertation on the genius of Chaos Destroy” - while something like that could land you at LEAST a free entrance semester to Lansing Community College: im sure the “song writing” would throw a Fluxus-like brain nugget freeze to the District Manager of GUITAR CENTER East Coast Mt. Vernon for a LOOONG TIME. If you dug up the body of JIMI HENDRIX to show him the LORD-OF-THE-RINGS-ON-LEPROSY GUITAR TONE diseasing this platter: hed more than likely think his grave-dirt ears were filled with cotton tin balls dipped in Trouma-radiation static and say “ask Clapton or that Frank dude from Lebenden Toten what he thinks...anyway this record is POGO and RETARDED...”..Thx Jimi. How this bucket-of screaming bolts screech buzz no vowel no word lp ended up on Olde English Spelling Bee is truly a brain-boiling mystery: but the world is an even more destroyed place with its mutant creation. I suggest you drill/add four more off-center holes to the label and cash in your SLURPEE POINTS for the next punk/hxc phenom: BALANCED CORE: punx will trade in the fuzz pedals and blown 8 speaker cabinets for a SUPER nice home-gym to sweat out and show off balance beams routines of the most political and intense nature EVER. Imagine the scene reports on that: alot more RAW thats for sure. YOU HEARD IT HEAR FIRST."  - INZANE JOHNNY OLSON.

"Well there is one band that never made it to this seasons Mad Max fashion show, or the new bar where all the freshly minted tattoo models who used to collect Brainbombs records or whatever now wash ashore to meet and screw. Yes indeed, punk hath long since been frozen in the ice age or by the cold wave, or whatever.  Punk is hippies is noisers is hip hop gothers. Maybe you were too busy collecting dirt on white jeans, and scrubbin off any trace of bourgeois privelege. Or maybe you were gossiping about whose Italian motor cycle boots were the harshest or whatever, or maybe when you were eBaying Skinny Puppy shirts and Totenkopf pins for the freezing weather to come, you missed out on things like the Music Not Music 7” by Chaos Destroy or their Stupid Night tape on Hierodule. Indeed maybe you thought you discovered the new Black Flag in a Midwest sine wave or in some noise-hop karaoke or maybe you just realized that you really wanted to tie girls up all along and fascist haircuts were the best compliment to yr imaginary order. EITHER WAY. Chaos Destroy hath since emerged, behind your back and laughing at you for how much you have grown!..... Yep, in some parts of the world, say like Southern Maryland, “music” began with the first notes and drum slams of the “Mental Disorder” EP and only flashed here and there since, on say a few flexi discs or 3rd degree bootleg cassettes, mostly of Japanese origin. You wont get a better invitation to a real barn-yard violent party than from Chaos Destroy. For in the land of Chaos Destroy, the sound track is Dust Noise and Gai and the milk and honey is cider and glue. Nope, youre not gonna get this from all the new records with black and white photos of dudes in fetish masks around magickal alters they got from Party City. Who the fuck would want to go to a party like that? Nope, this record is purely illogical snot from a gang who were fed battery acid out their mommas titty. The sound of synapses unfurling and language crumbling A.K.A. THE BEST PUNK BAND IN THE USA. Lest your brains get vacuumed out of yr ears now, poser!!!!" - Ravi Binning (Thought Broadcast, Hierodule Editions).

CHAOS DESTROY.................................... "LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE"..................... ALBUM PREVIEW from OLDE ENGLISH SPELLING BEE on Vimeo.


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